1 00:00:00,869 --> 00:00:04,977 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 2 00:00:05,043 --> 00:00:09,085 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 3 00:00:09,118 --> 00:00:13,126 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 4 00:00:13,193 --> 00:00:17,134 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 5 00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:21,209 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 6 00:00:21,242 --> 00:00:23,681 ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪ 7 00:00:23,714 --> 00:00:24,683 [laughs] 8 00:00:24,716 --> 00:00:26,185 Ooh! Ah! 9 00:00:26,252 --> 00:00:27,254 - Mommy! - Aaaaaaah! 10 00:00:27,321 --> 00:00:29,325 - Duncan! - Duncan! 11 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:33,968 Hurry up, kids. 12 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,003 You're gonna miss the school bus. 13 00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:36,372 Why aren't you driving us? 14 00:00:36,406 --> 00:00:38,611 You said the school bus driver was an alcoholic. 15 00:00:38,644 --> 00:00:41,115 I said he drives like an alcoholic. 16 00:00:41,182 --> 00:00:43,386 We didn't even have breakfast. 17 00:00:43,453 --> 00:00:44,488 Here you go. 18 00:00:44,556 --> 00:00:46,392 all: Nom, nom, nom. 19 00:00:46,426 --> 00:00:47,662 Okay, time's up. Your father and I 20 00:00:47,729 --> 00:00:50,067 have to get to work. We're busy, frazzled, 21 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,302 working parents, aren't we, Jack? 22 00:00:51,336 --> 00:00:54,442 So busy, so frazzled. Bye. 23 00:00:56,412 --> 00:00:58,851 [all scream] 24 00:00:58,918 --> 00:01:01,322 Bam! Binge time. 25 00:01:01,389 --> 00:01:03,561 [grunts] 26 00:01:05,063 --> 00:01:06,767 [organ plays] 27 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:10,007 Slanket us, baby. 28 00:01:10,073 --> 00:01:11,977 [both sigh] 29 00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:13,413 [dramatic music] 30 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,187 M'lady, prepare yourself for ten hours of heaving bosoms 31 00:01:17,254 --> 00:01:19,893 and quivering buttocks. - Don't forget lip-licking 32 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,496 and looks of askance. 33 00:01:21,563 --> 00:01:23,734 narrator: Last season on "Bodicetown," 34 00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:27,074 Lady Paleshoulders made a shocking announcement. 35 00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,445 I am betrothed to Sir Tightincloth, 36 00:01:29,478 --> 00:01:32,418 and my flower is ready to be plucked. 37 00:01:32,484 --> 00:01:34,589 [all gasp] [horse neighs] 38 00:01:34,656 --> 00:01:37,896 narrator: But how quickly spring can turn to winter. 39 00:01:37,996 --> 00:01:39,298 You plucked my flower 40 00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:42,171 and didn't even send a messenger pigeon afterward. 41 00:01:42,204 --> 00:01:44,910 Perhaps this message will suffice. 42 00:01:44,977 --> 00:01:46,079 [romantic music] 43 00:01:46,145 --> 00:01:48,116 - Mm... - [warbles] 44 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:51,089 Oh, what a recap. 45 00:01:53,628 --> 00:01:55,832 Butta gutta, butta gutta, butta gutta. 46 00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,301 Good morning, students. 47 00:01:57,401 --> 00:01:59,740 After a series of violent parent protests, 48 00:01:59,806 --> 00:02:02,478 we will no longer be serving 2% milk. 49 00:02:02,512 --> 00:02:04,081 My stepdad whaled on a guy for that. 50 00:02:04,148 --> 00:02:05,350 He's a full-fatter. 51 00:02:05,384 --> 00:02:07,054 And today's big announcement-- 52 00:02:07,121 --> 00:02:09,926 it's C-SET time. [cheering] 53 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,897 We all know what C-SET stands for, 54 00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:12,599 but I'll say it anyway: 55 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,636 Class Superlative Election Time. 56 00:02:14,703 --> 00:02:16,472 It's important that students are recognized 57 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,678 for things that won't matter a damn in ten years. 58 00:02:18,744 --> 00:02:21,950 I'm Mr. Mitch, and those are your morning announcements. 59 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,854 [coughs] 60 00:02:23,921 --> 00:02:25,157 Sorry, y'all--allergies. 61 00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:26,459 Yeah, that's good. 62 00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:29,065 This is the year I'm finally winning Best Laugh. 63 00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:30,601 Tell me which one you like the best. 64 00:02:30,668 --> 00:02:31,837 [giggles] 65 00:02:31,904 --> 00:02:33,774 [cackles] 66 00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:34,643 [heaving laughter] 67 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,212 Can I hear the last one again? 68 00:02:36,245 --> 00:02:38,316 - [heaving laughter] - Yeah, not that one. 69 00:02:38,383 --> 00:02:40,187 I think I have a shot at Mr. Personality. 70 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,590 [heaving laughter] 71 00:02:41,657 --> 00:02:44,563 I just hope I don't get Most Likely to Succeed again. 72 00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:47,301 It's so embarrassing. - You could withdraw your name. 73 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:48,604 Or you could mind your own business, Bex. 74 00:02:48,637 --> 00:02:50,474 What title are you going for, D? 75 00:02:50,508 --> 00:02:53,413 I don't know. Maybe Class Couple? 76 00:02:53,446 --> 00:02:56,185 Or Best Eyes. I'd totally vote for you. 77 00:02:56,252 --> 00:02:58,089 You would? Yeah, my eyes 78 00:02:58,123 --> 00:03:00,327 are pretty dreamy. 79 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,799 Okay, I'm just gonna give you a baby wipe. 80 00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:05,203 Oh, you definitely gettin' Class Clown again, Bex. 81 00:03:05,237 --> 00:03:06,439 You had a stellar year-- 82 00:03:06,507 --> 00:03:08,243 Alka-Seltzer in the teachers' toilet, 83 00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:09,679 arm fart during that moment of silence, 84 00:03:09,746 --> 00:03:11,683 and who else would draw a wiener on that painting 85 00:03:11,717 --> 00:03:14,288 of George Washington crossing the Delaware? 86 00:03:14,355 --> 00:03:16,693 Mwah. - Yeah, the laughter I get 87 00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:20,568 from my vulgar and crass behavior is a special feeling. 88 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,739 But I can't take the title for granted. 89 00:03:22,772 --> 00:03:25,444 You're only as funny as your last crying teacher. 90 00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:28,283 Now if you'll excuse me-- 91 00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:31,890 Hoomby, doomby, ding me down, me poomp-a-wha. 92 00:03:31,957 --> 00:03:34,996 [laughter] - [cries] 93 00:03:35,097 --> 00:03:36,800 - Yes! - [laughs] 94 00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,236 She got my vote. 95 00:03:38,303 --> 00:03:39,205 [giggles] Pluck my flower. 96 00:03:39,238 --> 00:03:40,641 Pluck it, pluck it, pluck-- oh, yes. 97 00:03:40,675 --> 00:03:43,379 Keep plucking. - Me doth loves this. 98 00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:44,850 Wow, look at 'em go, Jack. 99 00:03:44,883 --> 00:03:47,856 It's been eight minutes of nonstop relations. 100 00:03:47,889 --> 00:03:51,195 Well, back then, they had no "Bodicetown" to watch. 101 00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:52,799 It was just duelin' and doin' it. 102 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,972 Yeah, if you didn't use it, it got cut off. 103 00:03:56,038 --> 00:03:57,074 The king would take it! 104 00:03:57,174 --> 00:03:59,445 I'll tell you what I do find unbelievable though. 105 00:03:59,478 --> 00:04:01,683 He hasn't had one lower-back spasm. 106 00:04:01,717 --> 00:04:04,723 And her bosoms haven't rolled under her armpits. 107 00:04:04,756 --> 00:04:07,161 Jack, you're suckin' on that spoon pretty hard. 108 00:04:07,227 --> 00:04:08,396 Oh, my God, the spoon's empty. 109 00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:09,866 We ran out of ice cream. 110 00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:13,473 We can't watch seven more hours of hot young people 111 00:04:13,541 --> 00:04:16,345 getting it on without the cooling comfort of ice cream. 112 00:04:16,412 --> 00:04:17,549 Aw, I don't feel like 113 00:04:17,582 --> 00:04:19,586 putting on pants and going to the store. 114 00:04:19,619 --> 00:04:22,291 Who said anything about putting on pants? 115 00:04:22,357 --> 00:04:24,361 Oh, God bless you, Gary Clegg, 116 00:04:24,428 --> 00:04:26,165 inventor of the Slanket. 117 00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:29,271 M'lady. 118 00:04:29,305 --> 00:04:31,442 And the nominees for Best Eyes 119 00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:33,213 are Duncan Harris... 120 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:34,616 [small smattering of claps] - Gorgeous. 121 00:04:34,683 --> 00:04:36,787 - To die for. - I'm lost in them. 122 00:04:36,854 --> 00:04:40,728 And the new student who just started today, Januko. 123 00:04:40,795 --> 00:04:43,501 [cheers and applause] 124 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:45,972 - Seems close. - Sit down, Duncan. 125 00:04:46,038 --> 00:04:47,074 - Yes, sir. - Damn, 126 00:04:47,141 --> 00:04:48,711 we are getting smoked today. 127 00:04:48,744 --> 00:04:51,315 I won, but I'll probably give it back. 128 00:04:51,382 --> 00:04:53,052 - When? - When I feel like it, Wolf. 129 00:04:53,119 --> 00:04:56,459 And now it's time for the most anticipated award, 130 00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:57,461 Class Clown. [all gasp] 131 00:04:57,595 --> 00:05:00,367 And this sole nominee is the five-year reigning 132 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,070 Jester of Jokedale, Bex. 133 00:05:02,104 --> 00:05:03,373 [cheering] 134 00:05:03,373 --> 00:05:05,210 - I'm Bex! - Whoo! 135 00:05:05,243 --> 00:05:07,615 You're the best! - Fellow students, 136 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:11,489 as your incumbent clown, I promise you another year 137 00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:16,332 of food fights, split pants, and pricelessly timed farts. 138 00:05:16,365 --> 00:05:18,771 [farts] [laughter] 139 00:05:18,804 --> 00:05:20,675 [chuckles] What a one-two punch. 140 00:05:20,741 --> 00:05:23,146 Okay, let's wrap up this sham election. 141 00:05:23,213 --> 00:05:24,816 Who votes for Bex? - Who cares? 142 00:05:24,883 --> 00:05:26,687 Friday night, we're playing the Vikings, 143 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:30,260 or as I call them, the Suckings! 144 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,763 [laughter] 145 00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:33,667 Whoa-- [laughter] 146 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,840 - Corey's hilarious. - Corey for Class Clown! 147 00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:40,480 That wasn't class clowning. That was just cruelty, 148 00:05:40,515 --> 00:05:43,419 and he already won Most Cruel. 149 00:05:43,453 --> 00:05:46,392 all: Corey! Corey! Corey! 150 00:05:46,459 --> 00:05:49,064 - No chant-in candidates! - Sorry, Bex, 151 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:52,137 but the popular kids scare me. Plus, it's lunchtime. 152 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,174 Corey wins. - Yeah! 153 00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:56,045 My life's easy. 154 00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:58,016 [all cheering] 155 00:05:58,049 --> 00:06:01,055 Oh, my closer. 156 00:06:01,088 --> 00:06:03,928 Okay, give us a pint of your Robert Brownie Jr., 157 00:06:03,961 --> 00:06:07,569 Drew Barrys'more, Fudge Judy, Anderson Scooper, 158 00:06:07,602 --> 00:06:09,673 and I'm gonna finally try the Mint Romney. 159 00:06:09,706 --> 00:06:12,211 I'm sorry, this isn't an ice cream store anymore. 160 00:06:12,311 --> 00:06:14,281 Wait, it's not Pop's Sprinkle Shop? 161 00:06:14,315 --> 00:06:16,252 No, it's Doc's Wrinkle Spot. 162 00:06:16,319 --> 00:06:17,522 We tried to come up with a name 163 00:06:17,589 --> 00:06:19,559 to replace as little of the sign as possible. 164 00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:21,362 So we can't get a cold scoop? 165 00:06:21,429 --> 00:06:23,466 No, but you can get a cool sculpt. 166 00:06:23,499 --> 00:06:24,536 That's where we freeze your fat, 167 00:06:24,603 --> 00:06:27,709 and it leaks out of your body at unexpected times. 168 00:06:27,775 --> 00:06:30,146 We provide age-reversing treatments like fillers, 169 00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:34,288 skin peels, laser back shaving, testicle balancing, and Botox. 170 00:06:34,321 --> 00:06:35,323 Those things are for people 171 00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:36,760 who are unhappy with their looks, 172 00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:38,664 and we're very happy with our looks. 173 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:41,435 Are you? Your frown lines say otherwise. 174 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,605 We look fine. 175 00:06:42,672 --> 00:06:44,643 And here's the magnifying side. 176 00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:47,982 - [screams] - Oh, God! 177 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,418 So that's a yes? 178 00:06:49,485 --> 00:06:52,190 In the words of Lady Paleshoulders-- 179 00:06:52,257 --> 00:06:55,297 both: Poketh me good, baby. 180 00:06:55,363 --> 00:06:56,833 - We look amazing. - Now that we've 181 00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:58,504 chemically altered your appearance, 182 00:06:58,570 --> 00:06:59,506 You probably have some questions 183 00:06:59,539 --> 00:07:01,843 you should have asked earlier. - Just one. 184 00:07:01,877 --> 00:07:04,516 Is there a horse-drawn carriage nearby? 185 00:07:04,582 --> 00:07:06,653 I believe there's one parked outside. 186 00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,323 Ah. 187 00:07:08,389 --> 00:07:11,128 Oh, pluck. Oh, pluck. 188 00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:12,665 [horse neighs] 189 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,042 narrator: Annie and Jack had discovered 190 00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:21,015 the botulism-infused plague of eternal youth, 191 00:07:21,082 --> 00:07:25,524 and as their skin tightened, their undergarments loosened. 192 00:07:25,558 --> 00:07:27,294 [sighs] We just had sex twice 193 00:07:27,361 --> 00:07:28,631 in 12 hours. 194 00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:30,367 I'll get your post-coital Ben-Gay. 195 00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:31,970 I don't even need the PCBG. 196 00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:34,475 My back was having too much fun to spasm. 197 00:07:34,542 --> 00:07:35,778 And my trick knee didn't give out 198 00:07:35,811 --> 00:07:37,682 when I backflipped off the hamper. 199 00:07:37,715 --> 00:07:40,253 Is it possible that the lady magazines 200 00:07:40,286 --> 00:07:41,657 at the supermarket are right, 201 00:07:41,723 --> 00:07:43,894 that looking younger makes you feel younger? 202 00:07:43,927 --> 00:07:47,535 Yeah, I feel like I could do 50 sit-ups right now. 203 00:07:47,602 --> 00:07:49,238 [grunts] Well, the point is, 204 00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,943 I haven't felt that delusion in years. 205 00:07:52,010 --> 00:07:55,150 Mommy and Daddy haven't come downstairs yet. 206 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,653 How do we get food? 207 00:07:56,687 --> 00:07:59,826 All right, let's see what's in the old emergency kit. 208 00:08:01,663 --> 00:08:05,003 Okay, what do we got? Foil blanket, toilet paper-- 209 00:08:05,036 --> 00:08:06,405 hello-- 210 00:08:06,439 --> 00:08:07,942 and some dried food. 211 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:11,148 "Parsnip flakes and dehydrated pork fat gravy"? 212 00:08:11,215 --> 00:08:15,725 "Dried turkey chips and taco-style sauce"--I'm out. 213 00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:18,731 Just fire the gun and wake up Mom and Dad. 214 00:08:18,797 --> 00:08:20,668 Where have you two been, and why do you look like 215 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,574 vacation photos of you from before we were born? 216 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,678 Where are the lines in your face? 217 00:08:25,745 --> 00:08:27,682 I can't see the road. 218 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,719 Yeah, where's your normal haggardness? 219 00:08:29,786 --> 00:08:33,594 Uh, we've been just drinking water and eating lettuce. 220 00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:35,831 And stretching. Lots of stretching. 221 00:08:35,865 --> 00:08:37,568 Don't you think they look different? 222 00:08:37,602 --> 00:08:40,373 I don't know. I never look at their faces. 223 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,444 [gasps] You had work done. 224 00:08:42,512 --> 00:08:43,580 - No, we didn't. - Oh, yeah? 225 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,551 I let Dylan Walker feel a boob. 226 00:08:45,618 --> 00:08:46,953 both: Kimberly! 227 00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:50,193 We have never been more disappointed in you. 228 00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:51,162 I knew it. 229 00:08:51,295 --> 00:08:53,667 You got your crow's feet 'toxed, elevens filled, 230 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,738 marionette lines smoothed, eyebags emptied, 231 00:08:55,771 --> 00:08:56,873 and necks de-waddled. 232 00:08:56,940 --> 00:08:59,713 'Fess up, younger looking lady! 233 00:08:59,779 --> 00:09:01,182 Okay, 234 00:09:01,215 --> 00:09:02,317 lettuce. - All right. 235 00:09:02,451 --> 00:09:04,956 We were watching "Bodicetown," ate $100 worth of ice cream, 236 00:09:04,989 --> 00:09:06,492 were feeling bad about ourselves. 237 00:09:06,526 --> 00:09:07,595 We got a little tune-up. 238 00:09:07,662 --> 00:09:09,198 Aren't we entitled to look our best? 239 00:09:09,264 --> 00:09:12,003 No, you gave that up when you decided to get old. 240 00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:14,475 We just wanna relive that moment in our life 241 00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:15,578 when we were young and hot 242 00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:17,849 before time and children ravaged us. 243 00:09:17,915 --> 00:09:19,652 Let's do it, Jack! Right now, 244 00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:21,623 while we're still artificially young. 245 00:09:21,656 --> 00:09:24,461 To our tight, sexy past! 246 00:09:24,495 --> 00:09:27,802 So should we go to school or what? 247 00:09:27,869 --> 00:09:29,873 I'm just gonna lay under this foil blanket 248 00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:32,912 and listen to this hand-cranked radio. 249 00:09:32,979 --> 00:09:36,452 As this emergency broadcast goes off-air, good luck 250 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,791 and God bless everyone. 251 00:09:40,226 --> 00:09:44,201 Welcome to sexual education. [all giggling] 252 00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:47,642 This loser's trying to prevent unwanted pregnancies. 253 00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:48,911 Tear him apart, Bex. 254 00:09:48,944 --> 00:09:50,915 Today, we'll be learning the application 255 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,419 of a prophylactic onto a genitalia. 256 00:09:53,453 --> 00:09:54,923 I'll demonstrate with a banana. 257 00:09:54,956 --> 00:09:57,227 Give me a moment while I rummage around my sack. 258 00:09:57,227 --> 00:09:59,966 He's rummaging his sack. Trash this good man, Bex. 259 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:02,104 Oh, my sack smells terrible. 260 00:10:02,137 --> 00:10:05,410 My ex-wife always complained about my smelly, unwashed sack. 261 00:10:05,477 --> 00:10:06,680 [all laughing] 262 00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:08,750 He givin' you the alley-oop, Bex! 263 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,621 Here's the little guy. Oh, it might be hard 264 00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:11,823 to put on a condom when it's so mushy-- 265 00:10:11,857 --> 00:10:13,059 better when they're firm. 266 00:10:13,126 --> 00:10:15,731 Even I wanna hear what you have to say, Bex. 267 00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:18,469 Oh, I have something to say, all right. 268 00:10:18,537 --> 00:10:19,906 Grow up! - [laughs] 269 00:10:19,939 --> 00:10:22,244 Good one! Wait, no, it wasn't. 270 00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:26,686 You want jokes? Go to your class clown, Corey. 271 00:10:26,686 --> 00:10:28,524 Corey, you got anything? 272 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:31,328 Um, that banana looks like a wang. 273 00:10:31,362 --> 00:10:32,397 [all laugh] 274 00:10:32,497 --> 00:10:34,769 You gotta admit, Bex. That wasn't bad under pressure. 275 00:10:34,836 --> 00:10:38,577 Everybody, shut up! This poor educator 276 00:10:38,644 --> 00:10:41,850 is trying to teach you ungrateful hooligans 277 00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:44,288 some sexual manners. - Thank you, Bex. 278 00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:46,893 You know, I also am in charge of the Student Patrol. 279 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,997 We could always use another humorless scold like you 280 00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:50,768 to keep order and stifle laughter. 281 00:10:50,835 --> 00:10:52,003 Student Patrol? 282 00:10:52,037 --> 00:10:55,845 You mean I'd be empowered to take out my petty grievances 283 00:10:55,878 --> 00:10:57,982 on those who didn't vote for me? 284 00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:02,692 Yeah, that fills the void nicely. 285 00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:05,063 You hear that? You didn't celebrate me, 286 00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:08,236 but now you will fear me. Now pipe down, 287 00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:11,141 and listen to this guy talk about smashin'. 288 00:11:11,175 --> 00:11:12,477 Carry on, Mr. P. 289 00:11:12,512 --> 00:11:16,485 And now a subject that gives me no pleasure, masturbation. 290 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,822 [all laugh] - [yells] 291 00:11:17,855 --> 00:11:20,895 [all gasp] That's what I thought. 292 00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:25,571 [dramatic music] 293 00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:27,508 ♪ ♪ 294 00:11:27,575 --> 00:11:30,113 You look very snazzy, mister. 295 00:11:30,146 --> 00:11:33,520 Please, "mister" is what people called me yesterday. 296 00:11:33,587 --> 00:11:35,256 [pop music playing] 297 00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:38,396 We need spunky new duds to match our bitchin' new look. 298 00:11:38,462 --> 00:11:42,204 I'm gonna follow your lead. You seem to know the lingo. 299 00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:44,642 Can I be honest? Those are way 300 00:11:44,709 --> 00:11:46,111 too young for you. 301 00:11:46,178 --> 00:11:47,548 Let me show you where the clothes 302 00:11:47,615 --> 00:11:49,552 for people in their 20s are. 303 00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:52,357 Our 20s? Hot diggity! 304 00:11:52,390 --> 00:11:53,694 Jack, watch the slang. 305 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,098 Hot diggity. I like that. 306 00:11:56,165 --> 00:11:57,835 Hot diggity, I'll take this shirt. 307 00:11:57,902 --> 00:12:00,206 Oh, well, hot diggity, I'll ring it up. 308 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,745 Oh, my God, Jack. We're really pulling this off. 309 00:12:02,778 --> 00:12:04,749 Wanna see how far we can take this? 310 00:12:04,782 --> 00:12:06,151 Hot diggity! 311 00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:11,262 Sorry, kids. I can't sell you beer. 312 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,197 both: Yes! 313 00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:14,001 You're too young to buy cigarettes, 314 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,940 but just the right age to buy this cotton candy vape juice. 315 00:12:16,973 --> 00:12:19,478 both: Yes! - Also, shame on you. 316 00:12:19,512 --> 00:12:22,150 You're not old enough to get your prostate checked. 317 00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:25,189 Get out of here, you crazy, perverted kid. 318 00:12:25,256 --> 00:12:26,191 Yes! 319 00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:31,569 [dramatic music] 320 00:12:31,636 --> 00:12:34,909 ♪ ♪ 321 00:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,646 Hey, hey, hey, no running! 322 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,884 Hey, you're walking too slow. 323 00:12:38,984 --> 00:12:42,123 Hey, what's with you walking just right? 324 00:12:42,157 --> 00:12:45,898 Clean up this table. Your mom doesn't work here. 325 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,868 Actually, my mom does work here. 326 00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:52,511 Not anymore. Dolores, you're fired! 327 00:12:54,782 --> 00:12:56,218 [cat yowls] [laughter] 328 00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:59,859 Oh, Poker Cat is tearing Ben Affleck up. 329 00:12:59,926 --> 00:13:01,863 I don't like those frivolity levels. 330 00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,867 Take it down. - What happened to you, Bex? 331 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,069 You used to be diggity. 332 00:13:05,103 --> 00:13:07,107 We get you're pissed about losing your title, 333 00:13:07,173 --> 00:13:09,277 but acting like this can't be making you happy. 334 00:13:09,311 --> 00:13:11,983 That's where you're wrong, Red. 335 00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:15,791 It's filling my tank. - You're scaring me, Bex. 336 00:13:15,858 --> 00:13:18,530 Sorry, but being class clown was my world 337 00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:22,370 ever since I got my first laugh when I was six years old. 338 00:13:22,437 --> 00:13:24,007 ♪ ♪ 339 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:27,047 Ow. - You're next, frizz ball. 340 00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:30,654 This is the body of Christ. 341 00:13:30,721 --> 00:13:32,023 Ew. I don't know 342 00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:35,063 what part of His body this is, but I'm guessing butt. 343 00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:39,037 [gasps] [laughter] 344 00:13:39,104 --> 00:13:42,077 Making kids laugh made me feel special. 345 00:13:42,143 --> 00:13:44,214 Then I saw how easily I could be replaced 346 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:47,153 and realized I'm not. But a bad attitude 347 00:13:47,187 --> 00:13:50,259 and yardstick, baby-- that's special, 348 00:13:50,326 --> 00:13:53,099 and I don't have to fart so hard I split my pants, 349 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:55,971 which my doctor said was sending me to an early grave. 350 00:13:56,005 --> 00:13:59,779 all: ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 351 00:13:59,846 --> 00:14:01,783 Hey, no open flame! 352 00:14:01,850 --> 00:14:04,956 But I was just about to make my wish. 353 00:14:05,023 --> 00:14:07,227 It's my wish now. 354 00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:10,934 Well, when you get Rihanna, make sure you treat her right. 355 00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:13,807 [sighs] Fun day, but I gotta admit 356 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:14,909 I'm beat. Good news 357 00:14:14,942 --> 00:14:18,082 about my prostate though. - Yeah, my torso's gettin' 358 00:14:18,082 --> 00:14:20,554 a little cold in this crop top. 359 00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:23,125 Mm! - Hey, freshmen, a little help! 360 00:14:23,192 --> 00:14:24,428 He thinks we're freshmen, 361 00:14:24,494 --> 00:14:28,202 and he wants their giant can of beer back. 362 00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,908 Thanks, d-bags. Wanna party? 363 00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,343 It's one of the brodies' birthdays. 364 00:14:32,377 --> 00:14:35,183 Annie, it's a real live frat party. 365 00:14:35,216 --> 00:14:36,251 We've been dreaming of this 366 00:14:36,318 --> 00:14:38,222 ever since we never went to college. 367 00:14:38,255 --> 00:14:39,458 Yeah, we've only seen these 368 00:14:39,491 --> 00:14:41,996 in funny movies and chilling documentaries. 369 00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:43,834 We can't pass this up-- 370 00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,103 unless you're too tired. 371 00:14:45,169 --> 00:14:46,138 Hell no. I'm gonna pop 372 00:14:46,138 --> 00:14:48,409 a Silver Centrum gummy and get a second wind. 373 00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:52,885 We accept your kind invitation. - Hot diggity! 374 00:14:52,952 --> 00:14:54,956 Wait, are you lying about your age? 375 00:14:54,989 --> 00:14:56,893 - Mm... - 'Cause if you're high school 376 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,097 students, we could get in trouble. 377 00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:01,368 Chill, dude. We're older than we look. 378 00:15:01,402 --> 00:15:03,272 Awesome! Sorry I called you guys 379 00:15:03,339 --> 00:15:05,176 d-bags earlier. - No problem. 380 00:15:05,209 --> 00:15:07,247 We deserved it. Let's party! 381 00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,050 Yeah! narrator: Will Annie and Jack 382 00:15:09,084 --> 00:15:11,623 enjoy a night of drunken revelry? 383 00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:12,792 I know I will. 384 00:15:12,825 --> 00:15:16,900 Happy birthday, brodie! Yee-haw! 385 00:15:19,972 --> 00:15:21,776 [electronic music playing] 386 00:15:21,843 --> 00:15:24,515 It's even more magical than I imagined! 387 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,688 - Freshman burrito! - I'm gettin' hazed, Annie. 388 00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:29,491 [indistinct chatter] 389 00:15:29,525 --> 00:15:32,598 - It burns so good! - Good for you, honey. 390 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:36,739 I'm playing flippy cup. all: Flip, flip, flip the cup. 391 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,710 Soon, we'll all be throwing up. 392 00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,848 [grunting] 393 00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:43,018 Bam, bam, bam, boom. 394 00:15:43,052 --> 00:15:44,354 both: Our queen. 395 00:15:44,387 --> 00:15:46,759 They're gonna push me off the roof. 396 00:15:46,826 --> 00:15:49,231 [laughs] - Have fun, honey! 397 00:15:49,264 --> 00:15:53,339 YOLO! We young people are crazy. 398 00:15:53,405 --> 00:15:56,145 Tonight's game is dedicated to the memory of-- 399 00:15:56,245 --> 00:15:58,917 It's dedicated to the memory of the Vikings, 400 00:15:58,984 --> 00:16:02,925 or as I call them-- all: The Suckings! 401 00:16:02,992 --> 00:16:04,629 [laughter] [mic feedback] 402 00:16:04,695 --> 00:16:06,431 - What are you doing here? - We don't know where Mom 403 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:10,674 and Dad are, so we decided to have cotton candy for dinner. 404 00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:12,076 Hey, hey! 405 00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:14,281 Leave some room for the Holy Ghost. 406 00:16:14,347 --> 00:16:17,053 Did you sneak those empañadas from home? 407 00:16:17,086 --> 00:16:19,124 I'm appropriating this contraband. 408 00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:22,631 My grandma made those for my birthday. 409 00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:24,602 Tell her they're bad. 410 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:28,042 Hey, our cotton candy looks like Duncan's hair. 411 00:16:28,075 --> 00:16:29,979 [laughter] - [chuckles] Yeah, 412 00:16:30,046 --> 00:16:32,116 it do look like your 'do. - It do not. 413 00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:33,987 [laughs lazily] [mockingly] I'm Duncan. 414 00:16:34,054 --> 00:16:35,924 I'm an idiot. I ran out of clean underwear 415 00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:38,495 and wore my sister's. - One time! 416 00:16:38,563 --> 00:16:39,431 [laughter] 417 00:16:39,497 --> 00:16:41,503 What's all the commotion up there? 418 00:16:41,536 --> 00:16:45,577 [mockingly] I'm Duncan. My mom has to give me a bath. 419 00:16:45,611 --> 00:16:49,184 Oh, you're one to talk, Jing. [laughter] 420 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,421 No cuttin' up and hee-hawing. 421 00:16:51,455 --> 00:16:55,496 But we're being funny like you, Bex. 422 00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:58,904 She's right. I don't need a stupid title 423 00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,473 to be down to clown. 424 00:17:00,507 --> 00:17:04,114 I'm an inspiration to future fire alarm pullers 425 00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:06,118 and stink bomb throwers. 426 00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:08,122 I am special. 427 00:17:08,188 --> 00:17:11,863 [dramatic music] 428 00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:14,936 [yells] 429 00:17:14,969 --> 00:17:15,904 Ha! 430 00:17:15,938 --> 00:17:17,975 [laughter] 431 00:17:18,042 --> 00:17:21,215 Why? I'm a good person! 432 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,520 Hail to the clown, baby! 433 00:17:23,553 --> 00:17:25,256 [all cheering] ♪ I am your clown ♪ 434 00:17:25,323 --> 00:17:26,258 [arm farts] ♪ And I'll see you ♪ 435 00:17:26,291 --> 00:17:27,962 ♪ In sex ed class ♪ 436 00:17:27,995 --> 00:17:29,799 Oh, dear. 437 00:17:29,832 --> 00:17:32,504 [party music playing] 438 00:17:32,571 --> 00:17:33,907 ["Every Little Step" by Bobby Brown plays] 439 00:17:34,007 --> 00:17:35,343 All right, Bobby Brown 440 00:17:35,376 --> 00:17:37,280 dance challenge. Let's do this. 441 00:17:37,313 --> 00:17:40,219 Bobby Brown? From the '80s? 442 00:17:40,253 --> 00:17:42,357 That's before our time. 443 00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:44,427 Yeah, we've never heard of him or made out 444 00:17:44,494 --> 00:17:48,402 at one of his concerts, but we'll try to keep up. 445 00:17:48,469 --> 00:17:50,774 both: ♪ Every little step I take ♪ 446 00:17:50,807 --> 00:17:55,584 ♪ You will be there, every little step I make ♪ 447 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,222 ♪ We'll be together ♪ 448 00:17:58,255 --> 00:18:01,128 We got old once, Jack, but never again! 449 00:18:01,161 --> 00:18:04,835 Let's be young and drunk forever! 450 00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:06,873 [gasps] We're being TikTok'd! 451 00:18:06,906 --> 00:18:09,477 "Yahoo! News," here we come! 452 00:18:09,512 --> 00:18:11,448 ♪ Listenin' for the telephone ♪ 453 00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,920 Jack, your right jowl just dropped. 454 00:18:13,987 --> 00:18:17,427 Oh, you wanna see a drop? 455 00:18:17,493 --> 00:18:19,397 That was dope. Why are you frowning? 456 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,803 [gasps] You're frowning! 457 00:18:21,903 --> 00:18:22,671 Why didn't they warn us 458 00:18:22,771 --> 00:18:25,744 this dubious procedure was temporary? 459 00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:27,146 Your brow is furrowing! 460 00:18:27,213 --> 00:18:28,850 You shouldn't be able to furrow. 461 00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:30,319 Nicole Kidman doesn't furrow! 462 00:18:30,386 --> 00:18:32,625 If these kids realize we're secretly hideous, 463 00:18:32,691 --> 00:18:35,129 we'll be exposed as the pathetic old people we are! 464 00:18:35,162 --> 00:18:38,903 I don't wanna be a biral me-me. 465 00:18:38,937 --> 00:18:40,874 Let's get out of here. 466 00:18:40,907 --> 00:18:42,611 - [crying] - Oh, no! 467 00:18:42,645 --> 00:18:45,349 A crying girl-- I have to console her. 468 00:18:45,383 --> 00:18:47,253 Look at me! If he can't handle your worst, 469 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,560 he doesn't deserve your best. - Mm. 470 00:18:50,594 --> 00:18:53,098 It's a college party, I'm a dead man 471 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,267 if I don't play "Wonderwall." 472 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,937 And you're an old man if you stay. 473 00:18:56,038 --> 00:18:57,775 You're already Giuliani'ing! 474 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,116 [both scream] 475 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:05,423 all: Wrestle! Wrestle! Wrestle! Wrestle! 476 00:19:05,456 --> 00:19:06,693 - Ew! - Dude, I don't mean to be 477 00:19:06,759 --> 00:19:09,965 body shaming, but that is not the freshman 15. 478 00:19:09,999 --> 00:19:11,869 ['80s rock music playing] 479 00:19:11,936 --> 00:19:13,640 Edward Fortyhands! 480 00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:15,711 Jack, I played this at a baby shower once. 481 00:19:15,777 --> 00:19:17,514 They won't take them off until we drink them all. 482 00:19:17,548 --> 00:19:19,919 - Whose baby shower? - Lianne. 483 00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:21,421 Oh, right. Lianne. 484 00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,593 God, I hope that kid's okay. 485 00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:26,999 all: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 486 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,570 [record scratch] [all gasp] 487 00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:30,774 [slurring] What are you looking at? 488 00:19:30,807 --> 00:19:33,045 [monkey screeches] 489 00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:34,447 [yells] 490 00:19:34,481 --> 00:19:37,086 That's right. We're old. 491 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,124 You don't know what's diggity. 492 00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:41,261 [horse neighs] 493 00:19:41,294 --> 00:19:44,502 Oh, my burps taste awful. 494 00:19:44,568 --> 00:19:46,539 They smell awful too, honey. 495 00:19:46,606 --> 00:19:49,377 Here, have some more Dwayne, The Rocky Road, Johnson. 496 00:19:49,411 --> 00:19:51,381 Well, there's no fightin' it, Jack. 497 00:19:51,415 --> 00:19:53,285 We're aging, but you know what? 498 00:19:53,352 --> 00:19:55,590 There's no one I'd rather grow old with than you. 499 00:19:55,657 --> 00:19:58,395 Aw, babe. Well, I think we look 500 00:19:58,462 --> 00:20:01,268 better this way. - We do look good, 501 00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,971 and also, we're both losing our eyesight, 502 00:20:03,005 --> 00:20:04,074 so who cares? 503 00:20:04,107 --> 00:20:05,342 There's nothing I'd rather do 504 00:20:05,409 --> 00:20:06,879 than feel you up under a Slanket. 505 00:20:06,913 --> 00:20:10,352 [Victorian accent] Then have at me, Lady Thickbottom. 506 00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,991 [Victorian accent] Oh, I shall, Sir Dadboddington. 507 00:20:13,058 --> 00:20:15,731 [romantic music] 508 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:18,402 narrator: Annie and Jack's torrid passion quickly turned 509 00:20:18,435 --> 00:20:19,505 to deep sleep... 510 00:20:19,538 --> 00:20:20,907 [both snoring] And they learned 511 00:20:20,974 --> 00:20:23,546 that while getting old is no prance in the park, 512 00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,951 at least they could-- - [burps] 513 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,621 narrator: Good God. 514 00:20:30,326 --> 00:20:31,763 [doorbell rings] 515 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:37,674 Oh, is it cookie time again? I'll take 100. 516 00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:39,578 No, we're the new writers for Bex. 517 00:20:39,612 --> 00:20:43,553 Get in here. School starts in ten minutes. 518 00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:45,724 All right, what do you got for me? 519 00:20:45,757 --> 00:20:49,330 Okay, you know how juice box holes are always too small 520 00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:52,303 for the straw? Well, I was thinking it-- 521 00:20:52,336 --> 00:20:54,340 [snores] Are you gonna get to the joke 522 00:20:54,407 --> 00:20:56,579 before I die? What do you got, Kimberly? 523 00:20:56,612 --> 00:20:59,150 So this isn't ha ha funny, but-- 524 00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:01,622 I eat, sleep, and crap ha ha's. 525 00:21:01,689 --> 00:21:04,327 But I struggled all night to come up with this. 526 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,362 Will you at least hear it? 527 00:21:05,362 --> 00:21:06,766 You wanna talk about struggle? 528 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,437 I struggled all through grade school to learn 529 00:21:09,471 --> 00:21:13,278 how to fit a banana up my nose. 530 00:21:13,312 --> 00:21:15,483 But when I sneeze it out at lunch today, 531 00:21:15,584 --> 00:21:18,422 that cafeteria is gonna be a river of pee 532 00:21:18,455 --> 00:21:20,326 from kids laughing so hard. 533 00:21:20,392 --> 00:21:24,200 That's the bar-- banana nose. 534 00:21:24,267 --> 00:21:25,804 You know she likes you, right? 535 00:21:25,871 --> 00:21:28,743 I don't care. I just want the soda. 536 00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:30,914 [gulping] 537 00:21:30,964 --> 00:21:35,514 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0